2013

It's 2013 and I'm ending my freshman year in college... Wow. I was reminiscing looking thought my old blog posts, and it makes me wish I still had the writing talents I had when I was a sophomore in high school. So I've ended up in Greeley, Colorado in a long distance relationship with the boy of my dreams, and sometimes I find myself loving it and other times I find myself doubting my decision. Most days I feel like I get more sunshine here than I did in Las Vegas (even though it's not nearly as hot), and the rainy days here are lacking for any inspiration. I'm a college swimmer here at the university, which has basically murdered my creativity that thrived through my high school experience. And I've established myself as an introvert, by hardly ever going out and by having this long distance boyfriend. College is supposed to be the time in your life where you branch out and meet people while making some of the most ridiculous memories of your life. Sometimes I honestly regret not going out every weekend and getting drunk, flirting with boys I hardly know, etc. But then I remember that isn't hardly who I am as person. I remember I have the guy of my dreams at home waiting for me to finish school before starting our lives together. And I remember the purity and respect I have in my life, and I know the college party life is definitely not the one for me. Basically, life is happy. I'm never really down much lately, and that's because my life is perfectly planned out in front of me. I have goals that I set for myself and I've achieved them. It's just sometimes I get selfish and want to live in the now. I don't want to have to worry about not doing something that will upset my boyfriend or my parents, and I don't want to have to worry about getting in trouble with the law and potentially lose my spot on the swim team. I just want to let loose and discover who I truly am, whether I find out what I already know or discover something hidden underneath this skin and these bones.