I feel far more than cliche for posting Paramore lyrics, but what can you do.
My parents' ignorance can be so overpowering sometimes. They let their mega-republican mindsets get in the way of my dreams, and it upsets me more than they could even imagine. As I've posted in many previous blogs, it's obvious that Seattle, Washington is my love. It's the town where I would like to go to school. It's the town I find extreme beauty in. It's the town where I would like to spend the rest of my life.
First things first, I understand that Washington is a mainly Liberal state, it is what it is, and I'm completely okay with it because I myself have a moderate way at viewing politics. I could honestly careless; a city is a place to live and love, not one huge politics debate. But my parents swing their words in ways to make me feel like I have no motives. I have no strong mindset. That I'm not independent. That I'm nothing but a "stupid Liberal". But I know who I am, and who I aspire to be, so I try to disregard their irrational and hurtful words. They are so judgemental, and I honestly think that their heads are too biased to understand anything that could be running through my mind. They don't understand the beauty of music, and my love for it; they just understand the major competition of swimming, and always having to be first. They view winning and money as everything, and that is farthest away than my view. I do not view life in that way in the slightest. I view life as this: We're here for the ride, and we'd might as well enjoy it, whether we get money from it or not. I believe we should work hard for the things we love because we love them, not because it can gather us the highest possible income. But unfortunately, my parents do not have that same thought of mind. And it's probably my sensitivity, or perhaps my generation, but I would like at least a little bit of understanding from them every once in a while.
And it's okay, first, they don't want me to attend music school, and won't allow me to be a music major like I would like to be, because "it is not a real job". Obviously I do not agree with them there, but I am trying to understand that they would like what's best for me. It's no big deal, I'll just major in English instead, my second passion. But this is where they have crossed the line. They have officially said they will not help me pay for my schooling if I end up getting accepted into The University of Washington. My dream. The only true goal that I have in life. The only thing I've wanted so bad that it hurts. And I can't have it, because my parents have no trust, or faith, in me. And all they can possibly think about is themselves, or the way these dazed politics work these days. I haven't quite decided on that yet.
So this is my conclusion, and my decision: I am going to try harder than anything to get as much scholarship money in as many ways as I can. I will save my money for college, rather than wants such as a car or clothing. I don't need their help. I'll show them that I truly am independent. I want to do this on my own if they have no desire of helping. I'll pay for my own schooling if I have to. I know what I want, and I will do anything to get it. And that is not changing now. I won't even allow my parents to rain on my parade.
All I know is at this point, I'm upset, yet far more determined than I ever was before. And I can't help but wonder that maybe this was their intention all along.
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