A lot.
Words can't even begin to describe my confusion. I can't sleep because of all my restless thoughts. I'm shaking, and I feel sick to my stomach because I'm so disgusted with myself. From the beginning my parents taught me to always do what's right and best for me, no matter who it upsets. But I just can't lead myself to do it. I'm so obsessed with the thought of pleasing everyone else in the world, and making sure everyone else is happy. Because that's who I am, and who I want to be. But I never thought it would hurt this bad... I need time to think. I've never hated myself so badly before.
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