Mendelssohn, you are my only love.

I feel as if composers were the only men who actually weren't afraid to show their feelings, and understood most of life. Right now, Mendelssohn's music is the only thing that can make sense to me. The way the melody of Spring Song & Fingal's Cave flows through various parts of the orchestra so beautifully and the winds & horns are so abstract. I feel as though my best love will go to him, as well as Chopin and Beethoven. They understood so much of the world that was so deep that was not meant to be understood. And they are the only men that will ever have my true respect and honor. I want a man like them, not just a boy.



I've also come to a realization that I hate selfish and ignorant people. Actually, just make that person. I've never felt such loathing towards a human being before, and it's due to the fact that they cannot even listen, or comprehend for that matter, to what I have to say. They are too dense to have the common sense to think before they speak. Then they have the courage to point fingers at me, before even taking a second glance in the mirror to notice their own flaws. But then again, maybe they don't notice those mishaps because they are too full of themselves to even accept the fact that they aren't perfect, and that not everybody adores them. This shouldn't bother me, and I know I shouldn't be taking the effort to waste my precious thoughts on them, but sometimes I just wonder how someone becomes so self-absorbed. Is it due to their self-pity? Or is it because deep inside they aren't as positive and confident as they try to make it seem? All I know is that if I have the nerve to say something, or waste my breath on someone, it'll be to their face. Even if they don't listen, at least I can say that I'm not the ignorant one.

Oh life.

And by the way, I'm torn again. But this time, I don't know what to do. I guess I'll just have to play my cards and hope I win a lucky game.